Friday, October 18, 2013

LESSONS TO LEARN From an Old Lady

One day, most of you will come to realize that your precious little child, now grown and with a family of her own, has about forgotten that you exist.  You poured your life's blood into your kids and suddenly, as if you were a Leper, they have forgotten for the most part that you exist.

Oh, it happens slowly at first.  As your children became parents, the need for MOM was still very strong.  You were needed in a whole new way.  You were there to calm a panic stricken mom with a feverish child in the middle of the night and lend badly asked for advice.  You babysit for free, any time and with little or no notice, you picked them up from school, took them Trick or Treating etc. You, actually became second mom to your own grand children and you were happy to do it. 

So what happened?  They out grew you!  All the sudden, your kids didn't need you to help with their kids.  Their kids became busy  teenagers.  Even the grand kids have forgotten about you since they're so busy with their own teenage lives and problems.  No one needs a grandma for that!   Before you know it your children will have become grandparent and any help needed for babysitting etc. falls to your children instead of you.

You've become a has-been. It's as if they died, because the people inhabiting in those once loved bodies, are strangers to you now.  They don't call, email, write or visit. Oh, you'll get the obligatory Christmas, Birthday and Mother's Day cards and maybe even a visit or taken out to dinner but don't be confused.  This is not  a new trend.  It's a temporary moment when you once again feel loved and maybe even needed again, ...but it's over in a flash.  You'll spend the rest of your life wondering why you're living so long?  And it's worse if you're single again.

One has to ask, though, is it possible this endless cycles can be stopped from happening?  I can think of one way only. The young parent must, by setting an example and showing their children how important parents and grandparents are in your life. You call, invite them to dinner, movies,or  just a visit, and you do it on a regular basis.  You help them with yard work, take them shopping or on a family outing once in a while.  You remain patient when they say something silly.  You keep them in your lives and in your hearts.  You teach this to your children and practice it the whole time they're growing up. That's what you do...But that won't happen, because by the time you realize you need to do that, you are the forgotten grand parent and it's too late!